My cousin and his wife recently bought a house. After they found out that a murder and suicide had taken place there, they were able to get a significantly lower price. And as my great auntie says, everyone has to die somewhere, somehow

My smoke alarm went off an hour ago... like Lydia's did a while ago. Just for a few seconds. Then stopped for about twenty seconds, then started again for a about ten seconds. That was an hour ago. Since then it's been quiet. No fire, smoke, steam or anything. And just the one in my room.

I've been on google for advice and will replace the batteries tomorrow, for good measure (although it should just give a beep regularly if the battery is low, not go into full YOU HAVE FIRE mode), and try to see if it's dirty or something. Totally not helping are the incredibly high ceilings of our flat. Even on the big stepladder I'll only just about be able to reach it. May have to get Eoin to help. At least it's battery-operated so it's not setting off the entire flat.

The annoying thing is I am now very tired, but also wide awake as the thing woke me up at a dumb time (an hour after I'd fallen asleep). Am scared it'll start again and shock me. I tried to put earplugs in but those just made my heartbeat and my breathing really loud and annoying inside my head. Meh.  Also, I'm hungry. Was hungry earlier, but decided could wait til breakfast. Not sure if I can be bothered to get up for a snack.

Anyway since I've been away from the internet for five days, during my adventures which I will post about in due course, I'm going to catch up on internet-y things and see if I feel more relaxed after that. If not, there are many books to read I suppose.

Sleep would be nice though

mop kitchen floor as plan of mouse-deterring action
go to someone's graduation drinks and not feel too jealous of those who have their PhD
take impossible nail varnish off toenails
pack for Manchester
decide which dress I look least like a chubby toddler in
stop being a hypochondriac and finding ever more exotic diseases I could have
cut more patchwork fabric out
snaffle some pink thread from Alison to embroider the goddaughter's nursery bag with
try to sleep while next door might have a mental party (preparation in full swing in the back garden)

exciting, eh

A low point was selling random sparkly things made of glass at the Christmas market here. I worked for a surly guy who was bitter about everyone who came to buy something, and berated me for saying 'hello', 'please', 'thank you', and 'would you like a bag for that' to customers. Also, he kept telling me he'd find out if I stole from him, and that I'd drop all his precious glass items, that I wasn't careful enough. Then he dropped and broke an entire pallet of naff glass bells. I grinned and I don't think he forgave me for that. I got my day's pay and never went back.

I am currently wearing:

underwear
two pairs of socks
t shirt
thin jumper
100% thick wool jumper
big hoodie
jeans
padded calf length skirt over the jeans
woolly wristwarmers
woolly slippers

Still freezing. And it's really not that cold.

I have to sit at home today and wait for a parcel which I can't have delivered elsewhere and which needs to be signed for... stupid couriers. So I can't just go for a walk to warm up or anything.
Star jumps don't help, tea doesn't help.

Someone has somehow altered my avatar to some pink monstrosity saying "Bad sex is better than no sex". Which is firstly a complete lie. Secondly, I'd quite like to decide about my avatar myself. Wtf? Who got into me LJ? Retards.

Hmm. When I left the house four hours ago it was pissing it down. Obviously it's now glorious sunshine and I would look stupid in my wellie boots with a map of Hamburg on them and big raincoat, were I to emerge from my office. Which I won't for a while, and once I do, only to go to the library and then rehearsal.

Flatmate told me yesterday about shows she'd been to. I gave her a bit of a blank look. Shows? Oh yeah, it's the fringe, apparently. I'm becoming good at ignoring it. Leave the house at eight when the visitors are still asleep, hide in office/library, come out to rehearsal - necessarily at a space that's not a venue - and go home. Maybe I'll see Company tonight, if the ladies get to go earlier.

Got annoyed with people on the bus last night - every old person in the world was going back to their B&B just when I wanted to get home from craft night. Why can't they hold on to the handrails on the bus? It's what everyone else does. Oh I know what, I'll stop holding on to the handrail like I've done all my life, and henceforth will be doing without, parking my arse on fellow passengers should the necessity arise. I'm not talking about someone who is unable to walk, or hold on properly; I'm talking about an alarmingly cavalier attitude towards a vehicle madly swerving through Marchmont and a blatant disregard for personal space, but I was probably being un PC anyway.

I just tried to throw a carrot end in the bin across the room and failed. That's the most exciting thing that has happened so far today. Back to work.

Happy happy birthday Mia! Whoop whoop birthday. BOO for me not showing up like I should. Edinburgh is too far away sometimes.

Back to my friend the thesis.

I'm watching a friend piss their life away and can't help... stuck in a rut, doing the same things for years, maintaining a certain persona but on the inside being profoundly unhappy.

What can I do though. The only thing to snap them out of it is something drastic like grief or being fired or something like that and why would I wish that on anyone.

 

Meh.
I completed my registration at the doctor's yesterday, saw the nurse for a general checkup. I weigh ten stone. Ten stone! That's the most I've ever weighed. I'm worried about that as it's unexplained. Also to me my thyroid feels enlarged but maybe I'm just imagining that. She then took some blood to send off to test for T3 and 4 (which will either explain the weight thing or reassure me that all is normal and I'm just eating too much chocolate). She was better than the last British person to have taken blood from me, but not by much. Don't they train people in that here? what's with yanking sharp things around in my arm?

Ball! Obviously I want a new dress. But I can't have one. I don't even have the time to go look for one. As I said to Mia, I just want one to appear magically. And be free, obviously. Never mind. I might also try and rework the green FAILURE dress. Why did I even want to make a strapless non stretchy dress? Looking at certain dinner dance pics on facebook has yet again underlined that the smaller bosomed sisters should seriously not bother with strapless boned dresses, unless it's really, really well cut. Which my homemade dress most certainly isn't. Maybe I'll try and fix it into a halterneck at craft night later. Gahhh the green doesn't even suit me. I'll probably make a skirt out of it, if I wear it with a black top it won't make me look quite so much like Tinkerbell's older frumpy sister who had her wings cut off, and I'll feel good because I made something out of the random fabric my mum gave me. It's more a wintry thing to wear though.
What will probably happen on Saturday is that I'll wear the Grecian Chav dress and be done with it.

My favourites:
1. Turkey for the Pirates!!!
2. Iceland for the trashiness.
3. Cyprus, for the Bucks Fizz moment.
4. Malta for the silver boots.
5. Czech Rep for the pimp.
6. Ukraine for the gymnastics
7. Lithuania for the actually not bad voice
8. Georgia for the same reason.
9. Switzerland for the spangly jumpsuits
10. Croatia for grandad shouting about the internet.

The only ones I want to go through are Turkey and Iceland.

1. people talking about the effing weather all the time. Yes, I know it's warm where you are. OK. It's sunny, but cool where I am. Yes I would be jealous of your warm weather if I gave a shit. Are you happy? Alternatively, people who are already complaining about the 'boiling heat'. Get over yourselves. Enjoy it while it lasts and shut up.

2. The lack of rain/unpleasant windy weather etc means that the crazy people are out in droves. When it rains, they sit in front of the telly, get stoned or fornicate and leave the rest of us to get on with life and get home in safety and without having to run all the way from the bus stop.

3. Students who have finished exams having egg and flour fights. It's really not particularly original (and I utterly despise people who play with food)

4. The silly amount of cosmetic surgery / faddy diet / bikini exercise ads I get absolutely everywhere on the internet, telling me it is my duty to make myself gorgeous this summer and otherwise I'll have a bum time and everything will go to pot. Boo hoo.

Chavs, scallies, neds or by whatever moniker they go where you live should all be BANNED

Especially when they punch my friends and also when they grope my bum and only let off when I tell them their mum sucks English cock. It's actually impossible to use public transport safely on a Friday night which is really sad. Saturdays aren't too bad generally because everyone is still so hungover from Friday that even the drunk people are somewhat subdued.

I am calm and will not hate the colour purple forever. IN fact I am entering into the spirit of things to the extent of wearing a purple jumper today.

I am not even doing half as much work as other people are putting in.

I always did wonder whether it was viable to make cupcakes for a wedding all in one sitting...
With a handheld electric whisk ANYTHING is possible.

Work time! Where is that translit keyboard when you need it.

The compliment meme

One little compliment can make you feel amazing. So please give me a compliment, anything at all. (No, Rosy, no backhanded ones.)

Put this in your journal. Once you get some comments, tag that entry into your memories. When you are feeling down, just go to that entry.

Thank you :)

yep! proper update once I've done some work... hopefully tomorrow.
 

Hahaha I just googled "how to put in a concealed zip".

You know how Google does that auto complete thing and gives you the things other people search for?

I type how to... it says:
1. how to tie a tie
2. how to kiss
3. how to become pregnant

always good to see there are people out there more special than myself.

I tried another karate club yesterday, shukokai again, and again wasn't overly happy with it. After the frankly mental warmup, we didn't really do much, mainly practised defending ourselves against knife attacks. The sensei went off on one how he would happily kill anyone coming up to him with a knife and how to achieve this. Hmm. Maybe I'm too far into my traditional karate, but if some big tank of a ned came up to me with a knife, I'd run every time.

Being told to "do what feels natural" doesn't make sense either. If someone grabs me, my instinct is to remove that hand from me, so if I do what feels natural, I'll grab their arm and try to get it off me. When it would make much more sense to poke in the eye/ stamp on their foot to break it/ smash their balls if it's a man. What feels natural to you also feels natural to your opponent and therefore makes you predictable.

Maybe I should go back to the shotokans. Or just leave the karate thing altogether as it's mighty frustrating at the moment.

I'm meant to be writing (academic stuff, that is). I'm wasting time. I'm also scared I'm being really, really unprofessional in my way to go about things.

My way of writing:

- read lots of stuff
- make notes on it
- write little bits about notes, like, pieces of about 1 paragraph's length, sometimes shorter
-arrange these paragraphs in order
-tie everything into one coherent (I wish) whole
-read over everything
-fabricate an introduction

This strikes me as highly dilettantic. And we're not even talking about my interesting Endnote technique yet, or my incredible procrastination talents, especially the justification of these (like, this text is going to help me sort my writing issues out, clearly).

What do other people do? Do they start at the beginning and write one text until they reach the conclusion? How do you write?